21 Ways to Come Back to Yourself

A gentle 21-day practice for reconnecting with your body, your surroundings, and yourself

It seems that so many of us are carrying stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and exhaustion. Sometimes we become so accustomed to functioning this way that we don’t even realize how far we’ve wandered from ourselves.

The idea that it takes exactly 21 days to form a habit is a popular one, but habit formation isn’t quite that simple. Different habits can take different amounts of time to become automatic. So rather than thinking of this as a strict 21-day prescription, think of it as an invitation.

For the next 21 days, choose one or more of these practices and see what happens when you intentionally create a little more space for yourself. You don’t have to do all 21. You don’t have to do them perfectly, simply begin.

1. Support Your Gut

Stress and the digestive system are closely connected. When we’re under prolonged stress, digestion can be affected, which can influence how we feel physically and emotionally.

Consider incorporating fermented foods or probiotic-rich foods into your meals when they’re appropriate for you. Rather than thinking of one food as the answer, think about nourishment as part of caring for your whole body.

2. Meditate

There are many different ways to meditate. You don’t have to sit perfectly still with an empty mind. Meditation can be as simple as intentionally bringing your attention to your breath, your body, your surroundings, or the present moment.

Read more about the different approaches to meditation in 9 Different Forms of Meditation.

You can also explore a guided meditation through my meditation series.

3. Find a Happy Object

Find an object that makes you smile. It could be a photograph, a piece of art, a favorite mug, a plant, a stone, or anything else that brings you a little bit of joy. Every time you see it, pause for a moment and allow yourself to smile.

Bonus: Choose something you see regularly.

Sometimes tiny moments of joy matter more than we realize.

4. Turn Off Your Notifications

Give yourself permission to step away from the constant pull of your phone.

Turn off your notifications for an afternoon—or even an entire day. Everyone else doesn’t need immediate access to you. You are allowed to create space between yourself and the expectation of instant responses.

5. Explore Nature

Take a short walk and intentionally experience your surroundings.

You don’t have to drive into the wilderness. Explore your neighborhood, walk through a park, notice the trees along your street, or take a different route through your city. Look up. Notice the sky. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel your feet touching the ground.

Bonus: Bring a friend and experience it together.

6. Try a Few Simple Stretches

Begin learning how to feel your body again.

After difficult or traumatic experiences, some people become disconnected from their physical sensations. Gentle movement can be one way of beginning to notice the body again without forcing anything. You don’t need an intense workout. Stretch your neck. Roll your shoulders. Move your spine. Notice your breath.

Ask yourself, What do I notice right now?

7. Try an Electronic Detox

Start small. Put your phone away for an hour. Then perhaps a few hours. Notice what happens when you aren’t constantly receiving information, notifications, messages, and stimulation.

You may discover that you want more space than you originally thought.

8. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally bringing your attention to the present moment.

When you notice yourself living in the past or worrying about the future, gently return to what is happening right now.

What can you see?

What can you hear?

What can you feel?

What is happening around you?

You don’t have to force your mind to be quiet. Simply practice returning.

9. Allow Yourself to Rest

Take a nap. Sleep in when you can. Go to bed a little earlier. Sit somewhere comfortable without feeling as though you need to accomplish something.

Rest isn’t something you have to earn.

Your body needs recovery, too.

10. Create a Sacred Space

Create a small space where you can go when you’re seeking comfort. It might be a corner of your bedroom, a chair near a window, a place in your garden, or a small area filled with things that help you feel grounded. Add things that bring you comfort—a blanket, candle, plant, journal, book, photograph, or meaningful object. Let this become a place where you don’t have to perform.

You can simply be.

11. Explore Trauma-Sensitive Yoga

Trauma-sensitive yoga can offer an opportunity to reconnect with your body while maintaining choice and autonomy. You don’t need to perform the perfect pose or push through discomfort. Instead, you can practice noticing.

Does this feel good?

Do I want to continue?

Would I rather move differently?

What does my body need right now?

12. Explore Different Forms of Healing

There isn’t one universal path to healing. Explore practices that interest you—meditation, yoga, herbalism, time in nature, Reiki, creative expression, journaling, breathwork, movement, or working with a qualified professional. Allow yourself to be curious. You don’t have to commit to everything you try.

And if something doesn’t feel right for you, you’re allowed to say no.

13. Take a Social Media Break

Try stepping away from social media for a day. Notice how you feel without the constant stream of other people’s lives, opinions, accomplishments, conversations, and information.

You may discover that you have more mental space than you realized.

14. Practice Self-Care

What does self-care actually look like for you?

Maybe it’s taking a bath. Maybe it’s going for a walk. Maybe it’s saying no. Maybe it’s asking for help. Maybe it’s doing absolutely nothing for an hour. There is no single right way to practice self-care.

The question isn’t What should self-care look like?

Try asking:

What do I need today?

15. Create a Joy Playlist

Create a playlist on a day when you’re grinning from ear to ear. Fill it with songs that make you want to dance, sing, laugh, remember, or simply feel alive. Then save it for the gloomy days. Let it be a gentle reminder that not every day will feel like this one. Feelings change. Seasons change.

You change.

16. Move Your Body

Keep it simple. Try wall push-ups. Take an extra lap around the block. Walk up and down the stairs. Stretch while you’re waiting for your coffee. Dance in your kitchen.

Movement doesn’t have to be complicated to count.

17. Clear Your Space

Look around your home. Is there something that continually weighs on you? A drawer you’ve been avoiding? Clothes you never wear? Objects connected to memories you no longer want surrounding you? Choose one small area and begin there. You don’t have to purge your entire home.

Sometimes clearing one small space can create a surprising sense of relief.

18. Keep a Gratitude List

Write down a few things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be profound. Your morning coffee. A warm shower. Your favorite song. A good conversation. The sunshine. A comfortable bed. A dog wagging its tail.

Look for the small things.

19. Practice Words of Affirmation

Write gentle reminders to yourself. Put them somewhere you’ll see them.

Try:

I am allowed to rest.

I don’t have to have everything figured out.

My needs matter.

I can move slowly.

I am allowed to change my mind.

I don’t have to do everything today.

Choose words that feel supportive rather than forced.

20. Drink More Water

Sometimes the simplest practices are the easiest to overlook. Keep water nearby. Drink throughout the day. Notice whether you’re actually thirsty before reaching for another cup of coffee or something else.

Hydration isn’t a cure-all, but it is one simple way to care for your body.

21. Smile at a Stranger

Make eye contact. Offer a genuine smile. Say hello. Hold the door. Thank someone. Small moments of human connection can remind us that we’re not moving through the world completely alone.

And sometimes, simply being seen—or helping someone else feel seen—can change the tone of an ordinary day.

Bonus: Hug Someone You Love

If hugs feel comfortable and welcome to both people, hug a friend, partner, family member, or someone you trust. Don’t worry about reaching a specific number of seconds or making the hug “therapeutic.” Just allow yourself to experience the connection.

Sometimes comfort is as simple as being held by someone who makes you feel safe.

You Don’t Have to Do All 21

You don’t need to completely change your life in 21 days. You don’t need another list of things you’re supposed to accomplish. Choose one. Try it. Notice how it feels. Then choose another. Coming back to yourself doesn’t always happen through a dramatic transformation. Sometimes it happens through a glass of water. A walk outside. A few quiet breaths. A stretch. A boundary. A good song. A moment of rest. A smile. A hug.

A reminder that you are allowed to come back to yourself slowly. There is no finish line. There is only the next small choice. And you get to choose what that looks like for you.