Allow Me to Introduce Myself

I wanted to formally introduce myself—again, for some of you.

My name is Hollie, and I own Rooted Soul Apothecary, and this is just the beginning…

I am a survivor. A strong, determined, ambitious survivor. I have carried C-PTSD from so much of what I experienced throughout my life. For years, I gaslit myself into believing that none of it really happened. No one would allow things like that to happen, right? No one would ever want to see someone endure that much pain, right? But they did happen, and somewhere along the way, I lost faith in everyone around me, as well as within myself.

I learned how to block out the pain. I learned how to push away the images, the memories, and the things I didn’t know how to process. But in doing that, I became so dissociated that I often had no idea what was even happening around me. I was beyond numb. I didn’t know who I was anymore.

What I didn’t understand at the time was that surviving had become my entire existence. I knew how to keep going, but I didn’t know how to truly live. Looking back now, I can see how much 2019 became a catalyst for the path I’m on today. At the time, I was trying so hard to continue living the same life I had always lived. But life had other plans. It made me so uncomfortable that I eventually had no choice but to begin looking inward; to begin healing.

I didn’t know where that road would lead me. I certainly didn’t know it would lead me here;

to Rooted Soul Apothecary, to herbalism, to yoga, meditation, Reiki, and reconnecting with my body, to teaching, to writing, to learning how to listen to myself again, and perhaps most importantly, to learning that healing isn’t about becoming someone new. Sometimes it’s about finding your way back to the person you were underneath everything you had to do to survive.

Words aren’t always easy for me. I have spent a lifetime not speaking them. Not only holding back my words, but holding back myself. Not anymore. I’m learning to use my voice. I’m learning to tell my story. I’m learning that my experiences don’t have to remain hidden simply because they were painful to live through.

This is the beginning of my story...

Not because this is where my story started, but because this is where I finally feel ready to tell it. My hope is that you’ll follow along with me as I share the messy parts, the beautiful parts, the lessons, the things I’m still learning, and everything that continues to unfold. I don’t have all the answers. I’m not standing at the finish line. I’m still walking the path, but I’m here, and for the first time in a very long time, I know who is walking it... ME!